Not sure what to do

Well check this out....the other day I let my Friends talk me into calling in to talk to their "advisor" and when I say advisor I mean she reads cards.  Well I was a little hesitant because I really don't believe in those type of things.  I had to come up with three questions and I had no idea what to ask.  I wanted to ask about my boo...I really wanted to know if she could let me know when he was coming home.   I wanted to know if I was going to get out of debt.  I also wanted to know if I would ever be happy.  All in all the reading went pretty well.  She told me that my boo would be home by Christmas....Yup you heard me.  The problem with that is that I know for a fact that he wont be.  So in that aspect it made me feel like everything else she said is not true either.  I know there is only one ruler in this world but I just needed so badly to hear that he wont be gone for as long as the judge gave him.  IDK what to think people or what I should do.  I love him am I wrong to want him home?  Gosh you don't know how bad I want her visions to be true.  Anyway I am going to finish watching tv and go to bed.

Would you say I am a bad person???

I have an issue...my brother who is older than me but none the wiser.  I hate to come off like I am cold or I know everything because I don't.   I love him but recently he has come into hard times.  He has always lived with women or before that he was trying to live on his own but he has a fantasy of living this big life on no money.  So we all know where that ends right? You end up getting put out.  So that has been his life in a nutshell.  Well girlfriend 150 has put him out yet again and he is without a place to stay.  Well he has gotten an apartment YEAH!! but he cant move in for another 3 weeks.  Well tonight is my night off and all I wanted was to sit home wash my hair and relax.  I really want him to leave.  I know that sounds horrible but I just want my house to myself!!!!

Lord forgive me for these awful thoughts!

Am I Crazy or What?

I just left from seeing my boo, and I think I am crazy!  He walked out and GOSH that man is fine to me.  I didn't visit long because my son was ready to go, but it's like me and him can be together and not say a word but still so much gets said.  I told him abut that mess of a man that my BFF has and how I don't agree with his way of thinking... but of course my boo did. I was not surprised though because her man and my boo are both Gemini's so I figured they would stick together.  The talks turned to our relationship(if that's what you want to call it) I know loving someone from behind bars is hard.  I mean your mind has to wonder what is going on with the people you love, what are they doing and of course WHO are they doing.  Well this is my blog so I can be honest no reason to lie to myself right?  I am not doing anyone.  No one turns me on like he do.  I mean I know it sounds crazy to a lot of people but what me and him have/had I feel I cant get any where else.  That's why I feel he is my soul mate.  Well the die hard romantic in me really believes that.  Where the sensible side of me is saying dummy if he was your soul mate would God have taken him away from you.  Then I think God had nothing to do with it.   He got himself in that trouble.  But I know it is going to take God to get him back here with me.

He has been gone almost 3 years now, and Lord I am not getting any younger!  So what is my hold up.  Honey Chile who knows! Hopefully this blog can help me figure somethings out.

My question for you is......Am I crazy or What?

This thing called love

How far would you go for love??? I am sitting here watching this lame ass movie thinking about love. I mean who does not want that everlasting once in a lifetime love?  I know I do!  I thought I found it with this guy...but who was I kidding he had a girl some kids shit he had a whole leave it to beaver family type shit going on.  I fell I mean I fell real hard.  He is the same guy I talked about in the previous post.  So sometimes I get to thinking was he really the one for me or did I like what I could not have?  I spent 8 years yup 8 years of my life dealing with dude.  Its kind of funny to me now that I think about it, but whew was that a bumpy ride.  Now with him being gone I am starting to see things in a different light.  I mean I still love him and he still makes my heart flip when I see him, but I am now thinking he is not the one for me anymore. I titled the blog this thing called life because sometimes you can think you have it all figured out then WHAM!  You look and nothing is what you thought. I sometimes joke with my cousins and my sister and say that we are cursed because none of us are married shit none of us have real boyfriends, and we are all so different so I cant understand why not one of us have made it to the alter yet.  I am almost 30 years old and I don't even have a guy in my radar that I want to spend time with. It is very depressing and lonely. In my mind I say to that what is wrong with me...I have tried to switch my style up (in my Kanye voice) and that has not worked...

So my question for the night/day what is it that I am going to have to do to find that thing called love?

Where they do that at?

I am sitting here watching the movie "Just Wright".  It is a feel good movie and at the end it made me say wow! I mean really this man fell in love with the girl from around the way.  So it got me to thinking "Where they do that at?"  I mean I have not dated a lot..Hell be the definition in Webster Dictionary I haven't dated at all!  But I have crushed on some major people.  Let's see this quarter I am crushing on Trey Songz!! I know he is young but he fine.  I don't have a real life crush I don't know what that is about.  No-one that I have come across has made me be like oh yeah that's my next man.  Some people say I need to open up my heart. They think my heart still belongs to my incarcerated boo. Well I do still love him but I am not sure where if anywhere that relationship is going to go. As I mentioned he is incarcerated and it looks like he is not coming home anytime soon. He was a good guy to me.  He spoiled me and now I refuse to take anything less.  Not only did he spoil me he was such a man's man you know?  I used to think to myself did they still make men like this?  Anyway I am about to watch the movie for a second time.  Just wanted to write a couple thoughts down.

Welcome to my blog!
This thing called life! Ha!!!